


House Husband

by astudyinfic



Series: Blood is Thicker Than Water [3]
Category: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-03 23:05:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2891435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyinfic/pseuds/astudyinfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James has retired from Her Majesty's Secret Service so why does his life seem even more chaotic than before?</p>
            </blockquote>





	House Husband

The thin line of Eve’s mouth told Q that he had upset his friend but he was in no position to be explaining right then. It wasn’t that he had deliberately done so but barging wordlessly through someone’s office with tears streaming down your face was bound to cause people concern, particularly if those people care a great deal for you. Still, at the moment, Q needed M’s attention, not Eve’s and so his best friend would need to wait a few minutes until business was taken care of.  
M adopted a similar look the moment Q let himself into the office but the concern quickly faded to confusion when he saw that the tears were not from pain or anger but from laughter. “Q?” he questioned, rising a little from his chair to stare at his Quartermaster. “I assume you have a good reason for being here.” Nodding, Q took a seat but it was several moments before he could speak again. M waited patiently though it was clear from the look on his face that the curiosity over what could cause such amusement in the normally quiet young man was bubbling up inside him. 

“I need a few days off.” M pursed his lips, having not expected that from the first glance. “There are things I need to take care of at home.” The giggles were starting to come back and Q slapped a hand over his mouth while his eyes continued to water and shine with merriment.

That was puzzling, especially considering that Q’s spouse was home full time now. Having reached his fortieth birthday, Bond had retired with full honour from MI6, with a substantial pension and a guarantee of a quiet life. It had been a few weeks since the large birthday/going-away/retirement party where Q , Eve and Tanner had pulled out all the stops. Q and Bond’s three children were even there, celebrating the fact that Daddy was going to be home now and the nanny was no longer needed.

Pulling his thoughts back to the situation at hand, M leaned forward, chin in hand as his elbow rested on his large desk. “Has something happened at home? Are the children alright?” He had always wondered about Bond as a parent, what had possessed them to think having children in this business was a good idea. Besides, a licensed killer as a father seemed like a time bomb waiting to go off. Maybe that was what had finally happened though M doubted Q would find that very funny.

“No sir. I mean, yes something has happened but the children are fine. I just need to go home and teach James a few things.”

Before M had a chance to ask any further questions, Q launched into the story of what had happened minutes before.

~ ~ ~  
A phone ringing in Q-Branch is nothing unusual. Q’s personal phone ringing in Q-Branch had really only happened once or twice during all the years that he had been there. What use did he have for it when he was constantly connected to his husband via their earpieces? For James’ retirement, Q gifted him with a mobile better than anything currently on the market. “Welcome to civilian life, love,” he smirked, handing over the package that had Bond looking at it as if Q had handed him something completely foul. They both understood the importance of James’ retirement; the fact that he had lived this long was a miracle and it would simply get too difficult to keep him alive as he aged and slowed down. That did not stop James’ from moping about his usefulness and not wanting to be a kept man. Both made more than enough money and could have retired at the same time, living out their lives in relative comfort but Cris refused to retire until there was someone who could keep all the double ohs alive when he was gone.

James’ dislike for the phone shone in his disinterest in using it. Q had hoped he would get text messages and pictures of what James and the kids did all day while he was gone but his own mobile sat silent on his desk, day in and day out. At first it had worried him but he often came home to three happy children and a husband more than thrilled to see him, so Q accepted that this was how it was going to be.

Until the day the phone actually rang. Thankfully there was no mission at the moment so Q’s fingers freezing on the keyboard did not cause any substantial loss of life or property, something that was often a concern. Recognizing the number, Q grabbed the phone and made his way to his private office, heart pounding as panic bubbled up inside him.

“James?” he asked, forgoing formalities. “Are the kids alright? Did something happen?”  
In all of his years handling 007 and the rest of that double ohs, Q had never heard the sort of panic that came from Bond in that moment. “I need you to come home. I need you to come home right now.” A blood curdling shriek from a little girl could be heard in the background and Cris was certain that his heart stopped for a moment.

“JAMES!” he yelped, falling back onto the sofa. “What is going on? Talk to me.” Regaining his composure, he was on his feet, rushing to grab coat, keys, other phone. Obviously he needed to come home and there was nothing that would stop him.

Waiting for James’ reply, Cris could hear Abby’s voice in the background, but instead of filling him with terror, he felt nothing but more confusion. “Bubbles, Daddy! Bubbles!”  
“Shit,” James mumbled before turning his attention back to his phone. “Cris, I don’t know what I’m doing. Get home and fix this. The machines have turned against me. The kids have turned against me. Give me a terror cell any day. I can’t do this.”

The relief he felt was tangible and Cris dropped his things, wanting to get a handle on what was happening before he went running into the hornet’s nest as it were. Whatever was happening, the kids were safe. James wouldn’t be speaking such foolishness if one of the children were in danger. No, he was stressed and overwhelmed in a way that did not lead to death and destruction. “James. Deep breath. Slow down and tell me what happened. Focus on the task at hand. What is Abby doing this very moment?” Q let his voice drop into mission mode, a no nonsense tone that made James pay attention better than anything else.

“She’s playing in bubbles.”

“And where did the bubbles come from?” Cris had his fingers crossed that this was a simple matter of their daughter splashing in the bathtub or with one of those little bottles with a wand that you can blow bubbles from.

A pause. Cris’ heart skipped a beat. “The washing machine. It turns out that dish soap and laundry soap do not act the same way when it comes to washing clothes.” 

And there it was. Cris had asked James to do the wash today, to just throw in one load while he was gone. James was amazing at folding the clothes and putting them away but pretty much everything that involved technology was left to Cris, including the washing machine. “You... You used dish soap?” he choked out, trying to sound professional and not laugh at his domestically inept husband. 

“Yes. Soap is soap, or so I thought. But now the laundry room is full of bubbles and Abby is frolicking like a little merchild.” Cris smiled. The image James painted made his heart swell and he felt warm all over thinking about their family.

“And the boys?” 

“In their room. They aren’t allowed to come out until you get home.” There was an icy tone to James’ voice that told Q there was more to this story.

“What did they do?” It had to have been Harry. Charley generally followed whatever his brother told him to do. They may have been twins and best friends but the five year olds were about as different as they could be. But either way, together they were a nearly unstoppable force of chaos in their household. When they were three, Cris had wondered what they had been thinking having children. But James and Cris presented a united front and when Abigail came around, the twins thrived in their roles as big brothers. Didn’t mean they weren’t still toddling trouble but things were significantly better.

James sighed heavily into the phone. “The watch I was given for my retirement? They flushed it down the toilet.” Cris knew that while the watch wasn’t that important, the sentiment behind it was and he already made plans on how to create a new one so that James would have it still.

“Ok, so watch in the toilet and bubbles in the laundry. Is that all? We can fix that.” Honestly, it sounded chaotic and it was James’ first few weeks being a house husband, as Cris delighted in calling him, but it didn’t seem to warrant the panic James was expressing. As if in answer to the question, a loud bleating sounded through the phone. Q had to pull it away from his ear and looked completely horrified. “James, what the bloody hell was that?”

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit.” If he hadn’t been panicking, Cris may have been amused, hearing his words from the first time they met being repeated back. “Dinner is on fire. I gotta go.” The line disconnected and Q was left staring at his phone, dumbstruck.

The laundry room was filled with bubbles that their two year old was currently frolicking in.

The twins had flushed James’ prized watch down the toilet.

The dinner James was currently making was burning.

Of all the those issues, James was most qualified to deal with the fire so Q did the one thing that seemed most fitting. He laughed. He laughed until tears ran down his face. He laughed all the way through Q-Branch, up the lift and into M’s office. 

~ ~ ~  
By the time he was finished, M was laughing too. “Go home Q. Deal with the husband. Take Tanner. Sounds like you could use a couple more hands."


End file.
